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DEAR DR. JENN,
I’ve got a basic rabbit vibrator, but I know there’s more out there. What’s the essential sex kit to keep in my night table drawer, both for solo pleasure and for when I’ve got company? —All About the Goodies
Miranda had a goody drawer, Samantha had a goody closet, and Christian Grey had a good room. No matter where you fall on the goody spectrum, every adult should have a collection, however big or small, that makes her or his sex toys for women life easier, more pleasurable, and less messy. And according to one poll, 61 percent of adults do. Here is your primer:
Yes, generally speaking, we are naked when we have sex. But what we wear leading up to the event, and often during, can make the fun that much sexier. We tend to think of lingerie as being something that we wear to seduce a partner. But sexy undergarments can be used in our own seduction as well. It’s hard not to be in the mood when you put on something that makes you feel sensuous. Have fun with bras, panties, G-strings, bustiers, garter belts, pantyhose, teddies, negligees, corsets, and costumes. Experiment to see what makes you feel sexiest. It’s also fun to find out what your partner likes and dress up in a way that’s provocative to him or her.
In a survey of 1000 men who were asked what turned them on the most—dirty talk, porn, female masturbation, sexy lingerie, or “other”—a whopping 92 percent said sexy lingerie. Seventy-three percent of those men also reported that they relied on this kind of stimulation to keep things exciting in a long-term relationship.
THE RIGHT LUBE
You don’t have to be post menopausal to appreciate lubricant. As a matter of fact, I consider lube to be one of the most underused sex enhancers around. It is great on lips for a blow job, on a vibrator, on your hands for a great hand job, on your fingers when going solo, during intercourse, and even inside of a rubber to increase sensation.
The trifecta. Keep in mind, there are three main types of lube; water-based, silicone-based, and oil-based. Water-based lubes are most common and can be used with condoms without compromising their integrity. They can also be used with sex toys, even toys that are silicone based. Silicone-based lubes have a great, silky feel and are generally hypoallergenic but will destroy silicone-based toys. Oil-based lubes can double as massage oils and are best for water sex but will destroy condoms. Also, they are a bitch to clean up. Be sure to avoid Vaseline as a lubricant since it can cause infections and increases susceptibility to STIs.
Throat-numbing spray. Want to up your oral game? Throat numbing spray can turn you into a modern-day sword swallower.
The wonderful world of vibrators is more vast than you can imagine, but here are the key types to have on hand:
The standard. Everyone should have a standard vibrator. It is like the little black dress of sex toys.
The massager. Many women swear by the Hitachi Magic wand that was originally meant to be a massager until some brilliant lady spread the word about a better way to use the contraption.
The two-for-one. Rabbit-type vibrators that stimulate two spots at once have come a long way. They’re no longer limited to ones that look like little animals. With Lelo’s Saroya, be prepared to experience a G-spot orgasm and a clitoral orgasm at the same time. As one woman I know said, “Be prepared for your eyes to roll to the back of your head.” Pretty much all of Lelo’s products are beautiful and look like modern sculptures.
The suction. One of the most popular new trends in sex toys is the suction-based clitoral stimulator, like the Womanizer, which provides a small suction cup that goes directly over that rosebud.
The dildo. It’s a timeless classic. Even if you are having sex with a man, a good, old-fashioned dildo can come in handy. Sometimes your partner finishes first or is too tired to keep hip thrusting. If you want to get fancy, try a newly trendy glass dildo. Many women prefer them because, believe it or not, they are more durable and easy to clean up. You can even put them in the refrigerator or heat them.